It is estimated that there is approximately 2 million youths in the United States that have an incarcerated parent. It is also estimated that there are over 7 million children with one parent who is under the supervision of the Federal or state correctional authorities. The figures indicate that there are nearly 200 children out of every 1,000 who are in dire need of guidance and mentoring from relatives, concerned parties or the government. Any mentoring organization in private or government practice has a high likelihood of encountering at least one of these children, making it extremely essential that the needs of children of prisoners must be considered and integrated into specific mentoring practices.
Children with special needs
Children of prisoners undergo plenty of physical and emotional challenges that other children who live in normal households won't. Some of these challenges include:
- Having to cope with being separated from that parent for long periods of time, with some children having to deal with repeated incarcerations of his or her parent/s.
- Having to deal with infrequent visitations or the experience of going through procedures in prisons just to visit the parent.
- Having to deal with social stigma that usually accompanies children with parents who are incarcerated such as teasing, name-calling, guilt, etc.
- Having to live in conditions or environments that are unstable, unreliable and often less than ideal.
The problems of allowing children of prisoners to cope without any extra help often increase depending on certain factors, such as:
- the age of the child
- the presence of another parent or authority figure
- the quality of time spent by the child in the care and guidance of this parent or authority figure
- the economic status of the child's family
Without the availability of an effective mentoring program for children of prisoners, there is a high risk that they will develop problems both personal and social, such as:
- using and abusing drugs and alcohol at a young age
- irregular attendance in school
- developing problems with their peers
- finding outlet in destructive behavior or developing relationships with questionable individuals or groups
Using mentoring programs for children of prisoners
To help improve this group of children's chances at experiencing success in school and in their social interactions, certain mentoring programs are being made available in both private and government organizations, such as those funded by the Department of Health and Human Services.
Some of the mentoring resources that children of prisoners can look forward to include:
1. Access to a wide variety of educational, counseling, guidance and healthcare services that include the children, their siblings, other family members or caregivers. Many of these programs may even include the incarcerated parent/s.
2. Access to the appropriate resources that children of imprisoned parents can use, such as books, data and other information that will help them cope with the absence of either or both parents.
3. Access to mentoring and counseling services that can assure high levels of confidentiality to protect the child's identity.
4. Access to realistic and non-judgmental services from mentors and volunteers who also have the right background, training and experience to assist the children.
5. Opportunities to maximize their natural capabilities and experience new activities that will help them learn and cope in their environment.
6. Opportunities to experience leadership roles with their peers.
7. Assistance in terms of guidance and even financial services to help caregivers of children of prisoners cope with the financial burdens of running a household in the absence of one or both parents.
When mentoring is mentioned, what comes into anyone’s mind? It could be Socrates and Plato. Or it could be Jesus the Christ and his disciples. Whether these men used ‘ice breakers’ to make their students feel at ease, we would never know. But for sure, ice breaking exercises open doors for both mentor and student relationship or student to student relationship.
Mentoring is doing something valuable such as leading a less experienced individual to improve aspects in his life. It could be his faith, his skills or even simple time management. But even if you are the best mentor in the whole world, you would still need to break that barrier that comes with the stranger whom you will now teach. And this is the area where ice breakers come in.
An ice breaking exercise need not be an unruly game. In fact, it doesn’t always come in the form of a game. Sometimes, ice breaking exercises could simply mean the mentor introducing himself to his students and encouraging them to do the same. It could also be storytelling time for everyone. The main purpose is to make the students relax and feel comfortable.
An effective ice breaker is one that suits its participants. A more serious group could feel at ease with open forums or storytelling while an active group could easily relax physical activities. Ice breakers should also avoid activities that coerce communication, games that are not related to the course, games that take too long to finish, or activities that foster cultural biases.
In finding the perfect activities for a mentoring session, it is also important to consider the time factor. How long will the mentoring last? Would it take a week or two? Or will it only last for two days? You should be able to suit the activities to the available time that you have.
Here are some tips on making your games or discussions much more interesting:
1. Be enthusiastic. Feel the game. You should be able to explain the mechanics with much liveliness in your voice. An important part of this is to know every detail of the game. You don’t want to be caught unaware that you are confused with the game yourself.
2. Experiment with a different game each time. Variety displaces boredom (which the mentor might feel once he gets familiar with the activity).
3. Bring props. Funny props create funny moments. Make fun of anything except someone from the group.
4. Encourage each member of the group to participate. Don’t leave anyone out. But if someone is implying that he is still not ready to be open or active, then respect his desire.
5. The mentor should actively participate in all given activities and not watch from a corner after explaining the mechanics.
6. Make fun of situations that are outside of the circle. Be careful of sensitive topics such as politics, religion, sexual preference, etc.
The most important part of mentoring is achieving the student’s goal which is academic, religious or social improvement. Although ice breaking exercises are fun activities, they are still a necessary part of the mentoring program. In fact, it’s so important that it’s considered as the key that opens closed gates. With that in mind, participants should pay more attention and participate more on their next ice breaker.
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